70’s Cartoons: Why Hippies Shouldn’t Interact Wit Children
Raised ba' hippy parents ands a product o' da' disco culture explains a lot 'bout ma' phobias and some o' ma' more bizarre traits, buts 1970’s cartoons are what’s warped ma' generation.
Da' Death O' Originality; We was da' first generation ta' see originality tied ta' a chair an's have it’s nose hair plucked out one bys one with cartoon rehashes o' old TV shows likes My Favorite Martians, Lassie, Star Trek, Emergency!, Jennie, Addams Family, New Adventures of Gilligan, Da' Brady Kids, Da' Osmonds, da da da. What, no pilot fer da' New Hawaii Five-O Cartoon Adventures where Steve McGarrett an' Danno Williams are teenagers ina' rock band an' they solve crimes wit their wisecrackin' pet marmot “Pickles” who always get dem' is sum wacky situation.
OH! Lets no ferget “Da' Same Shit in Space” abominations; Josie an' da' Pussycats In Space, Gilligan's Planet, Partridge Family: 2200 A.D., Yogi's Space Race, Happy Days Gang (okays sos dis' one was time traveling, buts close enough). Ma' favorite was Erik Estrada’s Galactic Romp Rangers.
Nows da' “What da' F*&K award” fer the most mental damage inflicted ona' entire generation o' 6 ta' 14 year olds has ta' go ta' Sid and Marty Krofft. Man, what's wrong wit these guys. Da' consensus at da' time musta' bin dat' kids during da' 70's musta' been hopped up on goof-balls, buts da' closest thin I had ta' drugs was Fruity Pebbles® an's I needed ta' devour at least 4 blows o' da' stuff befer I started ta' hallucinate. H.R. Pufnstuf, Lidsville, The Bugaloos; talkin' flutes, talkin' hats an' Billy Barty dressed in a demented bee costume are da' things nightmares are made o'. An thanks ta' The Krofft Supershow an' Electra Woman and Dyna Girl I nows have an unhealthy obsession wit woman in spandex. Well dat' an' da' Solid Gold dancers.
Okays, yeah, Sid an’ Marty “Don’t Eat The Brown Acid” Krofft did create da' kick-ass Bigfoot and Wildboy an' Land of the Lost, buts it doesn't make up fer da' creeping terror know as da' Bay City Rollers Show.
I cans honestly say dat' da' only truly good thin' ta' come outta' 70's children programming has ta' be Lancelot Link, Secret Chip. Trench coat wearin', banana throwin', secret agent monkeys, HELL YES!
Da' Death O' Originality; We was da' first generation ta' see originality tied ta' a chair an's have it’s nose hair plucked out one bys one with cartoon rehashes o' old TV shows likes My Favorite Martians, Lassie, Star Trek, Emergency!, Jennie, Addams Family, New Adventures of Gilligan, Da' Brady Kids, Da' Osmonds, da da da. What, no pilot fer da' New Hawaii Five-O Cartoon Adventures where Steve McGarrett an' Danno Williams are teenagers ina' rock band an' they solve crimes wit their wisecrackin' pet marmot “Pickles” who always get dem' is sum wacky situation.
OH! Lets no ferget “Da' Same Shit in Space” abominations; Josie an' da' Pussycats In Space, Gilligan's Planet, Partridge Family: 2200 A.D., Yogi's Space Race, Happy Days Gang (okays sos dis' one was time traveling, buts close enough). Ma' favorite was Erik Estrada’s Galactic Romp Rangers.
Nows da' “What da' F*&K award” fer the most mental damage inflicted ona' entire generation o' 6 ta' 14 year olds has ta' go ta' Sid and Marty Krofft. Man, what's wrong wit these guys. Da' consensus at da' time musta' bin dat' kids during da' 70's musta' been hopped up on goof-balls, buts da' closest thin I had ta' drugs was Fruity Pebbles® an's I needed ta' devour at least 4 blows o' da' stuff befer I started ta' hallucinate. H.R. Pufnstuf, Lidsville, The Bugaloos; talkin' flutes, talkin' hats an' Billy Barty dressed in a demented bee costume are da' things nightmares are made o'. An thanks ta' The Krofft Supershow an' Electra Woman and Dyna Girl I nows have an unhealthy obsession wit woman in spandex. Well dat' an' da' Solid Gold dancers.
Okays, yeah, Sid an’ Marty “Don’t Eat The Brown Acid” Krofft did create da' kick-ass Bigfoot and Wildboy an' Land of the Lost, buts it doesn't make up fer da' creeping terror know as da' Bay City Rollers Show.
I cans honestly say dat' da' only truly good thin' ta' come outta' 70's children programming has ta' be Lancelot Link, Secret Chip. Trench coat wearin', banana throwin', secret agent monkeys, HELL YES!
posted by Captain Mog at 9:03 PM
3 Comments:
Dern it, there need to be more cartoons about the Squinty-eyed American Old West!!!
I knew it. Monkeys are spies. It's good to finally get that one cleared up, so... [whisper] where are you? Have you been taken by the monkeys? I hear they do fun things for oranges...
OH MY GAWD! I have just relived my childhood TV watching life... minus the Johnny Quest. I always looked forward to Lancelot Link Secret Chimp. Great Blog. Glad you commented so I could link back and read yours.
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