Ottawa?!
Ok, sos five days ago I was in Red Bank, New Jersey drinkin’ diesel fuel wit Mel at the Sunny Brook Trailer Park nows I’m some where in Ottawa, shirtless, Melless wit jus a slight hangover. Leaping Moses and leprechauns its cold here; ma’ nipples culd cut diamonds.
Sos the story goes; a troupe of French-Canadian acrobatic-mime lumberjacks finds me rubber cemented to a’ spruce tree and belivin’ me ta’ be either homeless ors a hippy theys sled dog my butt to the closest church shelter. A liter of hot soup, a baguette, couple of hymns and an exorcism later I’m back ons ma’ feet and confused as hell.
Whelp, canna’ dwell on ‘dhat I’s gots ta’ get back to Badger Boy Carnival Extravaganza and Hootenanny befer’ Sanders gets his slimy meat-hooks inta’ ma’ “Whack ‘em Cats” booth. God I hate Sanders. BBCEH shoulda’ be well on its way ta’ Chicago by now, sos I gots to gets movin’. Well, after I gets another shirt… this Cirque Du Soleil one is startin’ ta’ chafe.
Sos the story goes; a troupe of French-Canadian acrobatic-mime lumberjacks finds me rubber cemented to a’ spruce tree and belivin’ me ta’ be either homeless ors a hippy theys sled dog my butt to the closest church shelter. A liter of hot soup, a baguette, couple of hymns and an exorcism later I’m back ons ma’ feet and confused as hell.
Whelp, canna’ dwell on ‘dhat I’s gots ta’ get back to Badger Boy Carnival Extravaganza and Hootenanny befer’ Sanders gets his slimy meat-hooks inta’ ma’ “Whack ‘em Cats” booth. God I hate Sanders. BBCEH shoulda’ be well on its way ta’ Chicago by now, sos I gots to gets movin’. Well, after I gets another shirt… this Cirque Du Soleil one is startin’ ta’ chafe.
posted by Captain Mog at 1:25 PM
4 Comments:
sweet jesus, I think that this is one flaming funny post.
Are you still drunk?
I love losing time; hours are good, days are better. It's exciting, it's life affirming, and you get to know that somewhere out there are people who know you, maybe even consider themselves your friend. But you're not their friend. And you don't know them.
Glad to read you're alright. Nothing like a good exorcism.
Whelp Gots What and citygurl any Carnie worth 'es weight in Bart Simpson plushies is always at least a little drunk. Wes keep a emergency bottle o' hooch strapped to our ankles. Whatta' I'm doin' in Red Bank 'es sneakin' 'round the bushes near the bike rack at yer high school. Bug's Butt, exorcisms really put the puddin' back inta' ma' pop(?). Gunslinger, once again yer totally in ma' head. Jus' make sure ya' jiggle the toilet handle befer ya' leave.
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