Dwarf Mel

Ok, I don’t know what’s up with you people, but I’ve been receiving a lot of hippy hate mail about my reference to a urine smellin’ dwarf who doesn’t like to be poked. I only posted it yesterdays… whata’ ya’ all sitin’ around doin’ Google searches for dwarf phrases that might be “insensitive”. Hears a few edited quotes from my fan mail.

“You c**k smoking b*****d! I have a friend who’s a little person, you f***ing piece of s**t monger! It’s people like you who f**k up this planet with your m*******ing insensitive j***qe son of n****l t***idly x*******ty!”

“I’m a mother of a little person and I found your last blog to be very insensitive, hurtful and mean spirited. You f***king m********ker b****red!”

“I am a little person and while I don’t enjoy being poked it doesn’t make me dangerous. I also DO NOT smell like urine! F***ker!”

Well hell and meatball sandwiches! Let a man talk before givin’ him a hot poker suppository. Mel, the dwarf in question, and me’s good buddies for a long time. He IS dangerous if ya’ poke him due to a traumatizing childhood incident involving a vibrating bed and a fist full of ballpoint pens. As far as the urine smell well he works in the PETTING ZOO… whata’ think he’s gonna’ smell like? Daises and cream? The man’s three and a half feet tall which just so happens to be the same height as a goat’s rectum, so cut him some slack. I hear Mary Kay is still testing cosmetics on bunnies, why don’t you go bother them and leave Mel alone. Me and Mel’s gonna’ get a fifth of Jim Bean then hide under the “Tilt-a-Whirl” and watch the girls skirts go up.